This has been a hard week for me!!!!!
I know during this time that a lot of people are hurting and suffering from this corona virus pandemic that is going on, but today I am going to talk about something entirely different from the virus. I am going to talk about the baby that Lorenda and I just lost.
My God is an awesome God and He reigns on high. "His ways are not my ways, and His thoughts are not my thoughts, declares the LORD"(Isaiah 55:8), but on April 1, 2020, I sent Lorenda to the store to get groceries because it is the only day we were allowed to get out to get food and to buy a pregnancy test because she was 14 days late with her period. She arrived back home and we both put away the groceries and then she went to the bathroom to take the pregnancy test. I have never heard her call my name so loudly and happy. When I came into the bathroom the test read positive. She said that it read positive within 2 seconds. I was so happy. All the emotions from the past have come back from when we were trying so hard to get pregnant. I called my mom, she called her mom, we called our pastors here in Honduras and in the states and our closest friends. We were so happy for a short amount of time. But, within the same day she had a miscarriage, and all of the joyous emotions went away and grief settled in. I was upset, angry, and sad all at the same time. I did not know what to think. We set up an appointment with the doctor to get her checked out to make sure it was a miscarriage. So, the next day we went to the doctor and he confirmed that, yes, it was a miscarriage. At that time we got wonderful news and sad news all at the same time. The bad news was that yes we lost a child, but the good news is that we know that HE is preparing a way for something in the future. We found out that it actually made it to her uterus, which we thought could never happen because of the ectopic pregnancy she had in the past where Lorenda almost died on me and they had to remove the tube. She now only has one tube, and this was the good news that we know that the egg traveled to the uterus. So, that is where I get my joy, that the Lord is preparing a way, hopefully, for another one in the future.
The day we heard the news from the doctor I went into a "grieving depression" and just was lazy around the house and did not smile or anything. I was ignoring my friends and my family, but you never know when God is going to use your children to build your spirits back up. My youngest son Guenther writes poetry and he wrote a poem for our loss and it made me cry and I now truly understand that God has a greater purpose for all this. Since then I have been praying that God will heal Lorenda's womb and prepare it for another. Please be in constant prayer for us during this time and also for the Lord to prepare Lorenda's womb for another in the future. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, AND ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!