The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away...Blessed be the name of the Lord
I don't even know where to begin. I have avoided writing this as my heart hurts for the loss of our little blessing. My eyes are filled with tears and my swallow is thick, but I praise the one who gives and takes away...BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!
Sorry in advance if this is a little long...
9:30am Wednesday April 1, 2020
This day I was 15 days late on my period. Tyler and I were thinking I was pregnant, but we could not go out to get a pregnancy test as we were quarantined to our houses here in Honduras due to the coronavirus impacting the world. This day was the first day we were legally allowed to be out and about to get groceries, before this time groceries were by delivery only or walking to your corner house store that sells a few things. So after getting groceries I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up a pregnancy test. As soon as I got home I took the pregnancy test (thank God for google camera translate because the directions were in Spanish and I didn't want to get this wrong). Literally after 2 seconds the test came back positive!!!!!!!! Messiah began scratching his head saying "What". Tyler's suspicions were confirmed. I was so amazed to see a positive test and in awe of God. Guenther felt God had heard his prayers requesting a baby sister or brother...prayers that he has been praying for 2 1/2 years. We were shocked because this was a surprise to us. We were not intentionally tracking days/ovulation/etc to try and get pregnant, but we don't do anything to stop getting pregnant either. We trust in the Lord's perfect timing. Tyler immediately wanted to call EVERYONE and let them know. I was hesitant, because I had been spotting a little and having a little bit of cramps...so out of fear for losing the baby, I wanted to wait to call everyone...BUT GOD spoke to my heart and said "Lorenda, you haven't lived by fear yet, are you going to start now?" My hearts desire is to please the Lord and so I wanted to praise his name for getting me pregnant, whether or not he let us keep it here on earth. So for the next hour or so we called a few people letting them know that we were pregnant using a riddle....."Riddle me this. What is precious in the sight of the Lord, but does not speak when first created?" Once people guessed we showed them the positive pregnancy test and to see the reactions were priceless. Some wondered if we were April fooling them, but we assured them this was the truth. It gave people hope in a world that is suffering with pandemic...even if just for that one sweet moment. (sorry if we didn't get to calling you as just shortly after finding out we were pregnant, the miscarriage went into full force). During our calling, Messiah was playing on his guitar shocked and Guenther was listening to everyone's reactions as we called each person. It was a sweet time of joy for our family!
12:30pm-2:30pm Wednesday April 1, 2020
The cramps intensified and the baby began to leave my uterus. I showed Tyler what was coming out (he almost puked). At this time the reality set in for him and me that we were loosing our little baby. For him depression set in, while for me I began to recite the promises of God to reassure myself that he has a plan and is good. Sweet missionary friends that are doctors here reminded us to do both...praise God and grieve the loss. We are so thankful for the friends along the journey that God places in our lives for such a time as this. We watched a movie as a family to place our minds on something else...as I frequently visited the bathroom, my family paused the movie each time and patiently waited for me to return. Oh, my heart broke. I couldn't bear to tell anyone through video chat, so I texted them. They were all praying as they were aware that I was spotting and had a concern. It became not only a time of grieving for our little family of 4 here, but for all that we shared the news with too.
Afternoon of Wednesday April 1, 2020
My sweet friend and wife of our Pastor called the doctors office, got the information for me and helped me out so much. Blessed to have such sweet friendships here!!! I even had a friend in the states who is from Honduras calling family to get names of doctors etc here trying to help me out all she could. Friendships like these are such a sweet blessing in my life!!
8am Thursday April 2, 2020
I went to a local hospital here in Honduras and saw an OBGYN. He confirmed that I was about 5-7 weeks pregnant, but that I had a normal miscarriage. Thank God for my Spanish classes, because I was able to communicate in Spanish my medical history of pregnancy (I'll share a little of that in just a minute), I understood what he was saying, and was able to answer his questions. The only thing I didn't know was the scientific name for fallopian tube...I kept saying "tubo" (when discussing my medical history), but it really is "trompa de Falopio". He understood what I was saying even though I didn't know the exact terminology.
*A look back...April 2014
I won't be long here, but give you a brief summary. This was the first time we heard the words "You're Pregnant" and at the same time "You're loosing the baby". I was rushed into the emergency room one Sunday morning in April (can't remember the exact date right now) due to pain in my woman parts.....I say woman parts here because the ambulance EMT told me I had a kidney stone and if I just drank a beer I would be just fine. I informed him that this pain was in a place only women knew about. At that time we had 2 new foster children in our house and our 2 forever boys. I have a high pain tolerance and was able to walk out of the house holding my side hoping that none of the kids would wake up and see the ambulance taking me away. Foster children have a different time dealing with crisis and I knew it would be best if they were woke up peacefully and were informed of the information calmly. When at the hospital, because of my high pain tolerance and wanting to joke/laugh through my pain the nurse never believed I was at a 9 like I said I was...would only be a 10 I think if I was missing a limb. Come to find out, my pregnancy was in my fallopian tube and could burst, putting my life in danger. They watched my vitals over night and I went into surgery the next morning to remove that tube and the baby. That was a hard time, but I was glad to be alive.
~comparision from the first time and this second time
first time (2014) = the baby was in my fallopian tube and was life threatening
second time (2020)= the baby made it though my one tube all the way to my uterus and was not life threatening...PRAISE THE LORD!! This is a good sign for fertility! It took 6 years, but God's timing is PERFECT!
back to now...Thursday April 2, 2020 to Today (Sunday April 5, 2020)
It has been a roller coaster of emotions, but we are still firm in our faith and know God has a plan. It was a blessing to have that joy, even if it was for a few hours. God is great and greatly to be praised. We are hoping this was something we had to go through to prepare my uterus to hold a baby soon. We believe God is capable and if he will it, it will happen again.
Please pray for our family as grief is a roller coaster of emotions. Thank you for your prayers...we sooooooo appreciate them!!